have a passive aggressive holiday

As I have said before,I prefer outright defiance (sans violence) to passive aggression any day of the week. Unfortunately,my sixteen year old prefers passive aggression with a healthy dose of blaming others (primarily me) for his own actions thown into the mix.
One of my all time favorite Christmas decorations was found broken yesterday. I could have blamed the cats except for one fairly large detail. The decoration,a Santa cow in case you are interested, was found upright with his broken leg laying neatly beside him. This has happened before with treasured (non-valuble) objects. I have had to box up all the Sculpty figures my middle daughter made for me during her highschool years because this same son was slowly destroying them one by one.If I repaired one, it would disappear a month or two later. Now it is my Santa collection that is suffering the same fate.
I am missing plates; salad plates to be exact. I should have fourteen(one breaking a couple of years ago). I had fourteen two weeks ago. I now have nine. I did search his room to see if he had just squirrled them away under his bed and was refusing to bring them downstairs. No plates. I am assuming he threw them into the trash at some point. Why plates we eat off of? These are Correll dishes and managed to survive Youngest son and various toddler-aged grandchildren. Perhaps they wanted to live in someone else’s kitchen?
All of my bookmarks are missing off the laptop. All of them. I only use the laptop for work that is too data heavy for my tablet. Months may  and do go by when I never touch it at all. My son uses it daily for school. My husband uses it just as infrequently as I. I am thankful I backed up important files on the external harddrive (kept in my room) or I suspect many of those would also be missing (and may be-I did not check)
I have password protected my phone and need to do the same on my tablet because my son is changing settings. So far it has just been my phone,but my guess is he will move to my tablet since I locked the former down.
Money is once again missing from my purse. I never keep more than twenty dollars at a time in cash because this has been a problem off and on through the years. I have gotten lax the past couple of months. It has been a single here and a single there I believe, though I did have a disppearing,reappearing ten dollar bill this week. What brought this to my scattered attention was the fact I had no cash to buy my son dinner between his therapy and CAP. I told him to make himself a sandwitch, unless he had his own money he wanted to use as I had none. He pulled out a roll of singles. Not bad for a kid that has  refused to earned any money in over a year.
We do offer to give him jobs for that very purpose. In fact, at this very moment he can earn forty dollars every two weeks for keeping the yard work up. The priviso being he must take initiative and not wait until we have a family yard work day. If we all are working,he gets to do his share with no renumeration whatsoever.  So far he hs chosen to do his work for free.
He is refusing to do anything for anyone for Christmas.
At this very moment he is staring at a biology test he has studied for. He has been staring at it for almost an hour now. He stared at his last test as well. He took a zero. It looks as if he will be taking a second  zero today. I used to let him make up tests when he was finished being stuborn. I do not do that any more. I haven’t done it since he hit  high school level courses.
I think the one thing that has upset me the most this past week concerns the tablet we bought him last year for Christmas. It is a Vizio and there is a design flaw which makes the charger jack detach internally. This happened once before and the company will and has replaced the unit for free. I have given my son a box to package the unit in. All my son has to do is to either print or write out an address label and place the tablet into the box and tape it shut. He was told by Vizio he had eleven days from the day he set this up to get the unit to them for a free exchange.
He will not do it.
I told him,his dad told him he needed to address the box and we would drop it off at the post  office. He has the information needed-we do not (on the off chance we would do this for him out of sheer frustration). He contacted Vizio a week ago Tuesday. This is now day nine. The broken tablet (his big gift last year. A gift he used daily) sits on the table by the front door on top of the USPS box in plain view,driving me batty and causing me to have a very bloody tongue.
Talk about cutting one’s nose off to spite one’s face…….
One step forward,ten steps back.
Well,at least he isn’t peeing on anything (yet). Teen age boys have very large bladders.
There is nothing like a little (OK, a lot) of passive aggression to put one in the Christmas Spirit.
On the up side,I only have one acting this way instead of three or four. My son is not and has never been violent,which is a big plus.
Passive aggression,it could be worse.
It could be plain aggression.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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