breakthrough?

Made it through Thanksgiving,just have Christmas to go and then Holiday Hell will be over for another year. It was a discombobulated holiday this year anyway. I kept two of my grandsons for five days. This was the duo of destruction grandsons. They are a lot of fun and a lot of work. The five year old decided to get sick while he was with us-poor guy. The two-and-a-half year old slpet through all but the last night with us. I even managed to cook a full turkey dinner with all the fixings with the boys. I was very glad to have the distraction of the little boys. This was a hard holiday for me this year. You see it was last Thanksgiving when I last saw Youngest Son. It was the Sunday afterwards when he hugged me for dear life and told me he loved me as I dropped him off. I had hope for him last year. It was tempered with realism,but I still had hope.
This year I had grief.
My sixteen year old had a very hard holiday. He has always been jelouse of this set  of grandbabies. Or to be more acurate,his sister was always more jelouse and he was as well.  It did not help that we had three family events that his brother and sister were not a part of. It also did not help that three of his nephews are the aproximate age he was when his life fell apart.
For most of the past two weeks he has hardly spoken to me. He has refused to do any schoolwork and refused to help me around the house. He refused home cooked food and even refused the soda his dad boufght him and the candy bar I bought for him the dsay I took him (agaist his will) to run erronds with me. He was so mad at me he shook.
I had not a clue as to why either.
It was in therapy that the breakthrough came. It was there he was able to tell me why he was so upset.
It was his sister again. She wants him to chose. She put him in a bad position. He did not cave into her,but instead took his anger out on me. The result of all the nity gritty was we began to comunicate a bit. He was able to problem solve a way for he to do his school and for me to begin to rebuild some trust with his sneaking around to text.
He came up with a solution.
He communicated.
My son. Communicated. With me.
This is huge.
We were able to talk about his sister’s need to recreate their birthfamily with her as the mom-her brothers as her sons(?). My new middle son is already living with her. She wants her littlest brother as well. But,she wants him to be sneaky and furtive and to choose her by rejecting me and his dad.
See his conflict?
I am mad at her for putting him through this. I am also very sad for her. This will not end well. I thought we were well past some of this.She is more concerned with “winning” her brother,than his welfare. She is oblivious to the pain she is causing him.
It also pains me to see her other brother give up everything for her. She has no problem taking.  I love her,but do not like her a whole lot right now.

If this was the only family situation going on it would be enough. It isn’t. The other two cannot be blogged about. Both are worrying. One I cannot do a blasted thingf about. The other I am going to have to address and it may cause a relationship to be damaged. I would appreciate prayer as I wrestle with how to proceed with the latter.  It is keeping me up nights.

I owe y’all a bunch of pictures. I will try and get off my lazy backside and post them soon. I have some darn cute grandbabies.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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