time

Time heals most things;kind of,sort of. We are getting used to only having one very,very quiet sixteen year old at home. When my daughter moved out,there had been quite a bit of undercurrent going on. When she left the tension left with her. My son on the other hand for the most part was a quiet joy. There was some drama towards the end,but it was mostly his sister’s drama. There is no guilty relief having him out of the house. Just more quiet. I miss him,of course,but it was time.
The biggest adjustment has been for my sixteen year old. He has been sinking back into profound depression. We have been forcing him to stay with us (mentally). I hate seeing him that despondent. I think what set him over the edge was when we were late picking him up on Tuesday. We are never late. Ever. Yet on Tuesday we were not only late,but he was the last to be picked up. Every single abandonment issue he has ever had came rushing to the surface. Even at sixteen,he was not entirely sure we would be there. It did not matter that we alway are there. We were late. In the depth of his soul he new we had abandoned him.
Just like his birth family.
Just like his sister.
Just like his brother.
Abandoned.
Alone.
Brain knowledge vs emotional knowledge.
Sixteen vs six.

On Wednesday my youngest granddaughter turned one. She has been dubbed the tiny terror. Because of her heart defect,she is very tiny for her age. Stature is the only area she is tiny in,however. She has more personality and gumption squeezed into her little frame than ten babies. It is so funny to see her 9she is still wearing size three to six month clothes ) walking and talking and drinking out of her sippy cup.

Happy birthday Baby Girl.

There have been so many momentous  changes in our family this past year. Yet time does move on. Families adjust and move forward. New normals (I hate that expression ) are adjusted to.
It just takes time.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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