Update on dependent independence

My daughter is no longer wanting to move in with the thirty plus woman. After a long talk (me doing the talking,her staring at me.), my daughter admitted that the only reason she wanted to move in with the thirty-plus potential roomate was to have someone tell her when and what to pay for. We (I) talked to her about budgeting aps,Bill Pay and other helps. In the end she decided to go it alone.
For fourty-eight hours,that is.
As of last night she and her brother were going to share.
We will see what tonight brings.
I also talked to (at) her about saftey while clubbing and birthcontrol options. She agrees she does not want children right now. She agrees she should talk to the doc about longer term options. That does not mean she will follow through. I told her point blank that if she is clubbing she will be pregnant within six months if she doesn’t do something to prevent it. She always tells me (and everyone for that matter) what I want to hear. She means it when the words leave her mouth. It does not mean she will mean it ten minutes later.
My daughter who wants to be independent was shocked that we had her drive her car and spend her gas to look at apartments. She did it though. She is less scary thatn she was behind the wheel until she is around other cars on the road. Oh. My. Her dad is going to highly suggest she take her driving test this week. When she fails it she will hopefully kick herself into higher gear. Or reasses her options.

Fortunately, the apartments she and her brother are looking at are walking distance to her work and the grocery store.
She could survive just fine without getting behind the wheel.
One minute she is realistic and almost mature. The next minute she is twelve.
Her brother, by the way, has no intention of driving.
If they rent where they want to, they would be five minutes from where their dad works as well. That could work out pretty well. We will help them set up a budget. We will not bail them out if they blow their money on fun instead of rent. We will find donations for furniture. We will not buy them a new microwave.
I have launched other children. I cry when they move out. I grieve a bit for the end of their childhood and the end of my role as parent. I never enjoy the transition. With all that said, I have never felt less confident in my child’s ability to handle what life will throw at her/him.
All this being said,my kids could change their minds by


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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1 Response to Update on dependent independence

  1. Jeanne says:

    Can you warn the driving test people ahead of time?

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