Oh my

It seems my youngest daughter is ready to move on in life. She announced the other day she will move out at the end of this month.
She is definately old enough. Her lifestyle is changing in such a way I for one do not want to watch on a daily  basis.
That isn’t the worst of it. The “girl” she wants to room with is in her thirties,has two little girls and is one of “her girls” she has been clubbing with. They get along, you see. They are the same size and can share clothes.
All of this information came out piecemeal over supper last night. I had the audacity to ask her if she had found a place and what price range she was looking at.
Her dad asked if her friend had been on her own before and if she was back at her parent’s house now. In bits and pieces we found out that the girl is over thirty,has two children ages ten and seven and has had “a lot” of room mates.
Alarm bells anyone?
By the time I found about about the children  in the house I was not as therapeutic as I could have been. I think my responce was along the lines of “She has children and she is out clubbing!!!!!”  It went downhill from there. I had to go sit outside to calm down before I really put my foot in it. (My foot was already inserted,I was trying not to swallow the whole leg)
I believe my daughter is angry with me. She was walking sideways around me last night so as not to see me. This is what she does when I have angered her. If I ask her if she is mad at me, she will deny it. I thought better than to remind her I still exsist even when she doesn’t see me.
I will have to apologize this evening and try a different track.
We are encouraging her to get an efficiency apartment which she can easily afford if she is careful. If she is partying,she needs not to live here. I do not want her taken to the cleaners by some bar skag either.
Of course she also needs to be able to drive.
Did I mention she is moving to an army town?
Did I mention she has a habit of keeping a couple of thousand in cash lying around her room,only depositing it when her dad makes her?
Did I mention she refuses to take or use birth control? (No lectures on morality,please. She is not capable of caring for a child,nor is she capable of cause and effect thinking. She knows how babies are made,she just forgets that’s what happens when you have sex.)
Then again, this might just be a wild hair. Next month may find her still talking about moving out the next month and so on.
I wish she could learn from her mistakes.
I wish I new how or navigate this.

Her brothers are fighting over her room.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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1 Response to Oh my

  1. ivy says:

    this might sound very cold, and i don’t mean for it to…i imagine that you feel that she could not ever change enough to be a mother to any children…? have you ever discussed with her whether she would like to have her tubes tied? does she say that she wants children? i am sorry if this is offensive, i am truly just wondering if it is something that has been discussed? and maybe, maybe this potential housemate woman isn’t a bad person…maybe she is not super bright, but maybe she isn’t out to use your daughter…? hard to say….i am praying for some resolution for you. you are a wise and thoughtful person…

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