can she drive?

Neurotically that is-can she drive?
Boy, oh boy did we call this one wrong. We honestly thought that once she practiced and if she stayed on non-trafficked roads, my daughter would be able to drive. She can multi-task at work. She is a server in a busy family restaurant and does quite well.
How on earth did we miss if she shuts down when she has too much stimuli she will shut down while driving a several thousand pound vehicle at sixty miles per hour. By shutting down,I really mean shutting out. Shutting out the fact that from time to time there are other cars on the road. She knows she needs to turn onto road A. Unfortunately she does not seem to be able to remember that other cars are often on road A and simply merges then switches lanes oblivious of the cars breaking and swerving around her. By oblivious I mean not seeing or hearing them at all. As if they did not exist. This has happened more than once.
We expected her to have trouble maintaining speed,remembering to use her directional,breaking too hard and so forth. We expected her to have trouble for longer than most new drivers. It never,ever crossed either of our minds that she would be oblivious to all other stimuli except the road directly in front of her. If a child should run in front of her she would not break. She would not see the child. I am not even certain she would register hitting the child at all. It is that bad. This is not taking into consideration if she has music on,or a friend in the car,or it is raining,or it is dark,or trying to talk on her phone,or any of the other normal distractions.
What is worse,she thinks she is an excellent driver.
Really,she does.
She is supposed to buy her first car tomorrow.
Our thought was having it sit in the driveway would encourage her to practice driving until she passed the driving portion and was licensed.
We have been encouraging this step towards independence.
Now we are afraid that if her car is in the driveway,she may drive it. At this juncture,she could kill someone.
No drama.
Simple fact.
There was a near miss due to the excellent reflexes and skill of the other driver.If he would have not been on his toes,her brother would have been killed. She and her dad would have been hospitalized. It was that close.
She did not see the truck. She did not hear the horn blaring. She moved into his path,not once,but twice.
And. Never. Noticed.
Do we discourage her from picking up her car tomorrow as planned? If she insists (she is an adult;twenty years of age), can we insist on keeping possession of her keys until (if) she can pass her driving test? I do not want her getting a wild hair and taking the car on the road.Someone could easily be killed. She is that bad of a driver.
I would feel better if she were a little nervous.
I would feel better if she panicked a bit.
I would feel better if she knew other cars share the road with her.

How could we be so oblivious ourselves as to what the out come of her driving would be?
But she can serve?
Tons of stimulus there.
I do not thing she can drive.
Now we have to figure out how to tell her.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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2 Responses to can she drive?

  1. Jeanne says:

    😦 Praying for wisdom. And divine intervention.

  2. ivy says:

    oh gosh, so sorry, that sounds rough. it doesn’t seem like you have much of a choice but to tell her that she didn’t see the danger she created in the car, and that this is because of the in-utero damage she sustained, and that a new plan for life needs to be created that does not involve driving. (i imagine that you will be the ‘bad guys’ for this, but i can’t see any other way around it. you can’t knowing let her endanger folks on the road. unless there is a way to have a learner’s permit revoked? i assume she passed the written test? that is how learner’s permits are obtained in our state…anyway. you will do the best you can. i wish you a sense of inner peace, unrelated to your circumstances. best wishes.

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