when consitency gets hard.

Right now staying consistent with my young “adults” is difficult. Both are now unemployed do to no fault of their own. this means for the first time they must hit the streets (or the internet) and fill out applications and deal with a boss who isn’t dad. Because they chose to spend their earnings freely instead of saving for a car,they are dependent on their dad’s schedule or catching rides. I have the van back,but I cannot promise I will not loan it out again. Neither one wants their drivers license which further complicates their search.
Our rule for adult children living at home has always been- if you aren’t in school,you pay rent. We give a grace period,but in the end we will charge rent. It is nominal,but it is there. My video game playing son will begin to pay rent in January. My nearly twenty year old’s rent will go up some in January. We are talking about less than two-hundred a month-not very much.
We are not cold hearted. If either one was seriously looking for work and keeping hold of what money they have,we would extend grace.
Unfortunately,at this juncture,neither is looking very hard for work,and both are still blowing their savings like it is water. Neither is interested enough in growing up to make any independent moves. My son is still buying video games even though we purchased him a Game Fly subscription for his birthday and he can play for free all year. They do not understand their money will run out.
I told my daughter and my son last night that rent is still due whether or not they have money in the bank-so hold on to their money. In real life rent is still due. Utilities still need payed. Groceries need bought. It is called real life.
I have a sinking feeling they are going to push the envelope on this one,be it because they honestly do not understand,or they think we will back down and fully support adults who do nothing but play games and talk on the phone.
I do not want to have to go there.
If they would take the job search seriously and not find work,I would be understanding. If they would be saving their money for nesesities I would give grace.If they would make any move at all on their own I would match it plus some.
They are not doing any of these things.
I feel horrible about pushing them to the edge of the nest. I really do. I am watching their friends pass them by. I am seeing the sadness and confusion it brings them.
We cannot enable them to stay dependent. We cannot enable them to take only and to never give. We have to expect them to at least try to be as independent as they are capable of.
This is about to get hard(er).

Advertisements

About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s