changes and resistance to change

Unfortunately,one of those changes does not include better internet availabilities. This is the first day in while I’ve been able to connect with enough umph to actually load this site. The next question is: will I stay connected long enough to post this?
(edited a couple of hours later to say: No, I did not)

My husband has received a much earned promotion this week. He has been given a store (actually closer to our house !) that is in a world of hurt. Fortunately, with the increase in responsibility comes an increase in salary. Within the month our finances should ease up significantly.Unfortunately, he will be working major hours for the next few months as he cleans up someone else’s mess. He has also been asked not to have the kids to work for him for a while. Feelings are already mutinous in the store he is taking over. Bringing in the bosses kids would not be taken well. It is too bad because for all their faults,the kids work darn hard and can hold their own. Since I cannot get them to work until I get the van back from my son( who’s own car was totaled in wreck), They are without work. This should be temporary. It does mean they will work in the opposite direction as their dad and will expect me to get them there. forty-five minute commute in each direction.
Here is my frustration-and I am getting mightily frustrated. They will not drive. They will not get their license. They will not arrange their own transportation. They will not save their money. They will not even work unless they are carried to and fro by mom or dad. They simply do not care. They work hard when they are at work,but they see no need for any independence. They do have people feeling sorry for them. Just not anyone in the family that knows them well. to top it off,my son will not write the essay for his Mitchel Award. He is refusing. Neither of them will study for the ASVAB even though both say that is their goal. They resent being asked to do chores around the house. I believe they would happily eat my food,hole up in their bedrooms and play video until they were elderly. Nothing motivates them. Nothing at all. I am beginning to actually worry. If something were to happen to their dad or I what would they do? My oldest daughter would take in my fifteen year old,but his siblings are grown. She cannot be expected to support grown adults who can work.
It doesn’t help that my daughter’s boyfriend’s parents cart them all over creation and seem to be giving him spending money. They (the parents) think we are unreasonable for not doing so ourselves.
My other frustration is a return of crazy lying and general sneakiness with all three kids. For example, my fifteen year old sneaked ice cream bars past me under his shirt. He is allowed to eat the ice cream with out asking. Food is not restricted;especially for him. He is still under one hundred pounds and is five foot,five. All three are reverting back to behaviors I haven’t seen in quite some time. I am patient with these behaviors in children. It is much harder to remain patient when they are nearly twenty, just shy of nineteen and fifteen years of age. They only talk to me when spoken to. They avoid me or walk sideways past me to avoid eye contact in order to not speak to me. They hide in there rooms.
In retaliation I strike up nonsense conversations or speak for all of us.(with different voices for each part)I try and be over the top silly-which worked when they were younger;not so much now. I am,as I have said, beyond frustrated.
My fifteen year old has begun his school year. He is in ninth grade this year and we shall see how he does. I wish,wish,wish he had at least one friend. I am lonely for him. I cannot see putting him in public school or even a co-op. He just cannot keep up with the other teens. His social skills are few to none-and yes we have spent years working on that. The kids themselves do not seem unhappy. They seem to be happy with the state of the union. It is mama who is unhappy. I don’t know why I thought we would be past some of these issues by now,but I did. And we aren’t.
While I’m busy complaining……
It would be nice to have a day under one hundred degrees. I believe we are at day 73 of triple digits for the year.The high today is 109.We have had no rain since June. What fell then wasn’t a whole heck of a lot. My yard is toast. My garden is toast. We are losing trees. Since we are on a well and the water table is dropping,I cannot justify watering. We still have September to go before the heat is supposed to break.
I am sure come February I will be wishing for warm weather again. For that matter, I am wishing for warm weather right now. Warm sounds wonderful. It is the scortching hot weather I am tired of.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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