Both my husband and myself have talked to the foster dad. He seems to be a good guy.It is a household with just male teens. The foster mom works during the day,the dad is home. This is a better than we hoped for situation. They are encouraging Youngest to call us. The dad asked pertinent questions,but downplayed the answers. There is nothing here he hasn’t handled before. They do the tough kids.They are experienced.
I remember when we felt that way. Many of the same words came out of my own mouth. The foster parents were given a highly sanitized version of behaviors. Knives were mentioned in passing. The extent of his homicidal ideations was down played.I did tell him that he meant it when he threatened someone;no idle talk for this boy.
I feel better having spoken to the foster dad.
As a side note, the ad litem simply cannot understand why we feel out of the loop and fairly powerless over this whole situation. They are, after all letting us know what decisions they are making for our son after the fact. Why on earth should we feel powerless being unable to influence the very decisions we should be making???