quiet day in the land of normal

It has been a while since I have spent a quantity of time in the land of normal. My life with the younger kids isn’t traumatic. No violence. No obscenities.They tend in the opposite direction. They tend to not interact rather than overreact. It is quiet.
It is not normal. I have more in depth conversations with my two year old grandson than my nineteen year old daughter. My five year old granddaughter has a better grasp of cause and effect than her auntie and uncles. The four year olds will tell me about their day in great detail. My teens at home never do.
It isn’t so much adoption/attachment issues, (although they are there)as it is brain development.
We have adapted our lives,both private and public,in accordance to who our children are. It was a gradual proccess and in the beginning thought to be temporary. Now it is our normal.
One of the issues when living with alcohol exposed children is realizing all over again just how unlike their age mates they are; just how unlike neurotypical younger children they are.
I am not sure what I am trying to say. my emotions are both hopeful and sad. Hopeful due to the progress they have shown and sad due to the glaring differences that still are,and may always be, with them.
I love them fiercely-even when I want to knock their heads together.
I simply wish they were on an evener playing field.
In the meantime I will listen to my grandson tell me about the bears he has protected me from and drink air coffee made on a plastic stove and enjoy normal.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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