finding contentment

When you have made choices to live outside of the norm,sometimes the norm takes on near mythical qualities of perceived benefits. In other words,if we had chosen to line our bank accounts instead of filling bedrooms I would have all these wonderful things. The irony in theses feelings is that I really do not even want the things I have given up. OK, more money would be nice and maybe a second vehicle would be helpful. Truly,though,I have never wanted much more than I have right now. I have an old house to fix up. I have enough yard for a garden and maybe eventually some chickens (and a dairy goat). There are roses and crepe myrtles and azaleas growing in abundance. I have a real front porch with rocking chairs and a porch swing.We even have a pool.
More importantly,we have filled bedrooms. We have done and are doing our best to raise children. Children who did not start out in life with the proverbial silver spoon. This does not mean our children will all be moral, productive,Christ following members of society.It does mean they have been loved and ,to the best of our inadequate ability,been shown Christ through us.
So,why do I struggle with discontentment?
Why do I focus on pee and snotty noses and inability to remember instead of focusing on the fact my son is kind and when properly motivated,helpful?
Why,when I see gasoline skyrocketing,do I focus on where we cannot go instead of seeing where we actually are?
Why,when grocery prices are rising on a weekly (daily) basis do I worry about what I cannot purchase instead of being thankful we have quite a bit put by?
Why do I focus on what we lack,instead of what we have?
I know why.
It is because I have forgotten to see through Christ’s eyes and am looking through my own.
I have become selfish instead of selfless.
I want God to serve me instead of me serving Him.
I have it all sideways and backwards.
No wonder I feel discontent.
Spoiled children often do.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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