surreal

I think I must live in an alternative universe. In my universe trying to strangle someone is not a minor setback-it is attempted murder; at least assault with intent. In the therapeutic environment of the residential treatment center it gets you “a talking to” and a few privileges removed-you are still considered “moderate”.
What I was told by Mr. Therapist Man was bad enough,although he down played any real significance. I was told a fellow resident had antagonized my son and my son chose to choke him as a response. I envisioned the boys on the unit,my son leaping up and impulsively grabbing the other boy by the throat. To me this is not a good thing,but I am not a professional. My son lost his phone and entertainment privileges for the night. He maintains his level. He would need,I was told,to attempt to kill himself,or go over the fence in order to decrease his level back to “severe”.
Unfortunately,what I was led to believe and what really happened are not the same. Yes my son choked another boy. It was the circumstances leading up to the attack and how it was carried out that have chilled my soul to the bone.
It was in the classroom,not on the unit. The other boy was making “annoying noises” according to my son. (the same behavior he uses when trying to get attention in class). The noises were not directed at anyone in particular. They were just noises. It seems Youngest told the boy to stop “four times” and but the other boy continued his low level annoyance behaviors. After the last “request” the boy did inform my son there was nothing he could do to stop him. I guess that was the provocation I was told about.
Youngest told me in detail how he waited until his teacher was busy with another student and then “slowly stood up” and “slowly walked over” to the other boy and deliberately grabbed him by the throat and began to choke him. He told me his intent was to kill him. ” I planned it” I was told. I asked him if his behavior scared him? What emotions did he feel afterwards?
He felt embarrassed. Not horrified. Not remorseful. He felt embarrassed,that was it; simply embarrassed. It was the other boy’s fault, after all.
“Did you tell Dr. E— that you thought it all out?” I asked.
” He didn’t ask me.” my son replied.
My son,who’s main problem is homicidal ideation,chokes a boy and his therapist does not ask him if it was deliberate???????
The therapist certainly was told that it was not a leap over the desks impulsive bit of violence. It was a slow walk with intent. No one can claim impulsiveness when slowly walking over to someone after waiting for the time his teacher was occupied elsewhere.
What is it going to take for the “experts” to take my son’s personal conviction that you kill those who irritate you seriously???????
Is he going to have to actually kill someone?
Who is liable for endangerment than?
Today I will call Mr Therapist Man back and tell him that my son planned to kill the other boy. I can at least make it so the lettered expert cannot say he “didn’t know”.
Lord help me,I would have taken this boy back into my home. I so wanted to believe he was healing. How can he heal if they won’t address his main issues? My son is a socio-path at best,a psycho-path at worst.He is a product of our society.
I want to throw up.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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2 Responses to surreal

  1. Jeanne says:

    Oh, honey. (((hug))) I am so sorry.

  2. Jeanne says:

    You might want to send a letter as well, and let them know you’re keeping a copy. If there’s a paper trail that might be used as “evidence” some day, they might think twice about a few things.

    Of course, that’s giving them credit for good sense.

    Dear God, pleasepleaseplease work in this situation.

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