hoping this will work

We are having internet angst again. I can do without many,many things. But when I can’t get on line….
We have been busy painting and trying to seal all of the giant gaps around widows and doors. The boy’s room took nine gallons of primer. Nine gallons. It is a large room and it was raw sheet rock,but still…nine gallons. My sons,being who they are, unplugged out little black wireless box and never thought to plug it back in. This meant no internet. It takes twenty-four hours to charge the little black box. A long time. The next day the little black box was finally charged enough but after a bit of time needed to be reset. This entails pushing the little button until the box powers off and then pushing the little button to turn it back on. We often have to do this as the little black box does not keep a signal on a consistent basis. My son did this and for reasons known only to him, unplugged the box. We had internet for almost an hour before we lost all signal. The next day the boys were again painting their room and-you know what is coming- they unplugged the box. Three days without contact with the outside world.(OK, so I’m being a bit dramatic. but still,it is my main contact with grown ups-even if they are virtual.)
If you are wondering why the little black box lives in the room of two teenage boys with occasional processing issues,it is because it is the only place in the house we get decent signal. (as in we can get on line and load a page in less than a minute).
The reason neither of the neuro-intact, adult people did not notice the unplugging of the little black box is we were busy painting the kitchen (me) and trying to seal all the leaky windows and doors before the next cold front comes through (husband).
The first day we began our painting extravaganza,we set the boys up priming their room, our daughter painting her room and me painting the kitchen. All of the kids have painted before. Many times.With the exception of the fourteen year old they usually do a good job. The first day all went well (except for the internet issues). The second day we did not give explicit instructions (except to not unplug the little black box) and start the boys off. Mid afternoon I went upstairs to check on them. It was not going well. They were working on top of each other and in such a way they were getting very little paint on the walls.
I have been therapeutically parenting for over twenty years. I have been parenting kids with FAS/ARND for almost nine years. Most of the time it is second nature. Yesterday it was not even on my radar. I did not respond therapeutically to the paint on the carpet. I did not respond therapeutically to my husbands reaction or my son’s snark. I responded like the mother of two sons who at eighteen and fourteen should be able to follow directions which have not changed. I became irritated and then I became angry and then I cried. I cried because I wanted them to be ignoring me and being lazy. Ignoring mom and being lazy are irritating but can be dealt with. In truth,they forgot how to paint their room. Something they had done the day before without issue. My eighteen year old has painted many rooms without supervision in the past. Yesterday they forgot. Yesterday they became stuck.
Some days I just want to be a parent not a therapeutic parent. I want my kids to be “normal”. I want it bad enough I will sometimes yell at them when they are not.
Some mom,huh?
Today we did not paint. We went hiking instead. It was a fairly rugged trail and the fourteen year old mountain goat was leading the way.He and his siblings scampered. His dad and I tried not twist an ankle on the rocky outcrops. The trail was only marked with occasional green dots on the rocky ground. We ended up about a quarter mile off the trail before we noticed the green dots had left us. Or we had left them. The funny thing is I am usually the one who gets us lost on hikes. When we lived in the far north with the forest in our backyard, I once got the kids and I so lost we ended up five miles from our house. It is family legend. I was just glad it wasn’t me this time. I teased my fourteen year old about getting us lost. I told him it was genetic. He got his sense of direction from me.
Hereditary is contagious, you know.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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2 Responses to hoping this will work

  1. Lisa says:

    I did not have a stellar therapeutic parenting day either. Ugh. Sometimes crying will help.

    You have been in my thoughts and prayers, as always….

  2. Jeanne Holt says:

    Yay for you taking a break and going on a hike!!!

    Your kids are blessed that you even know what therapeutic parenting is– nobody can keep it up 24/7/52/forever. I had just a small taste of “different” yesterday when I watched a friend’s autistic son for a few hours yesterday… I wanted to hug my own kids afterward for being “normal.”

    How could you *not* cry when you love your kids and want the best for them? I have no doubt that God wants the best for them too, and that’s exactly why he put you in their lives. They are not going to suffer permanent damage just because you have a meltdown once in a while, but they will certainly “suffer” permanent blessing because you have loved them.

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