it’s going to be a short six months

I am beginning to feel like I am in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Court today was anticlimactic. It was simply to restate all that was said last month and to continue on with youngest residing at the RTC and CPS paying for it. The permanency hearing -the one we were told would be scheduled six months from today- will be February 28th. Last I checked,that is three and a half months from today. Time flies in family court.
Since everything we have been told so far has not been the way thing end up, I am afraid youngest will get his wish in February.
Yesterday Youngest called me. He called when he knew his dad would be at work. He called to tell me he had made his decision. He was not returning home. He’d already called his worker he told me. I told him it was a bit early to be making that decision. I told him he needed to concentrate on getting well etc. I told him a few other things as well. I told him we would continue to see him in family therapy until we were told to stop. I told him he was loved even when he was ugly (southern term for acting hurtful).I told him he was afraid. He told me (self righteously)that he was doing this “because I know now I hurt you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore”.Not even a drop of sincerity,but a nice try.
Today in court I asked the worker what he had told her,telling her what he had told me. She said he left an odd message about wanting to sign something. The ad litem asked how he got such an idea in his head. I passed it off to the boys in the cottage. The worker looked uncomfortable. I suggested it would be in my son’s best interest if all the adults in his life let him know that this would be an adult made decision. I restated that he is in no way,shape or form able to make this type of decision. He is an emotionally disturbed fourteen year old. The worker then went on to say how weird he was the last time she talked to him. He was agitated and in full gansta form by the sound of it.His birth dad was once again his hero. Stealing cars and gang affiliation things to be proud of. It was his birth mom who was to blame. The child who gave birth to him at age thirteen. It creeped out the worker. It is hard to reconcile the charming version with the gangsta version of my son. The ad litem said he was a joy when she saw him. The many faces of my son…..
We do not have a good feeling about this. We never have. It hasn’t changed.
He has not made any progress where he is,therefore he is not safe to come home. I don’t think we will see much change in the next three months. I am afraid the state will bring him back into care permanently. I have no idea what that would mean to us long term. I do know if does indeed happen, my son will no longer have an advocate fighting for him. It may be what he wants, but it will not get him help. Eventually he will hurt someone. Eventually he will be in prison.
On a totally separate bit of unreality,we have had now three completely different companies tell us they are the ones servicing our mortgage. I have received all three written communications is the last two weeks. All three tell us to only deal with themselves. All three appear official. I have not had time to wait on hold for the thirty to forty-five minutes it takes to get through to a live person at the bank to find out who,if any,of these entities we should take seriously. And no,we do not have a second note on our house. Considering my husband’s coworker literally had her home sold out from under her while coming within one payment of being current on her note, we are not comforted the conflicting information.
It seems that no one’s word is worth much these days.
I know I’ve been around for half a century now,but I remember when an official’s word could be counted on. I remember when lying was not thought of as business as usual-at least not as a societal norm.
This episode just about sums up the way I feel

About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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One Response to it’s going to be a short six months

  1. Jeanne Holt says:

    One of my all-time favorite episodes… but I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way! 😦

    “We ask only that you trust us… only that you simply trust us.”

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