just when i think it’s safe…..

Just when I think I have a handle on my grief and all the other emotions tied up with my Youngest son, Thursday comes again. Family therapy day removes all of the protective coatings from my heart. If youngest has been doing poorly, I feel helpless to help him. If he seems to be enjoying his institutional time and comes in clean (gasp) and cheerful,it hurts even worse.
We are told he will move cottages the first of November. At that time we will talk with the new therapist.At least that is what we are being told this week. Next week? Who knows. My son’s therapist has self aggrandizement issues. In every session we have to talk abut how intelligent and talented the therapist is. His accomplishments are amazing. At first,we took what he said at face value. At first we hoped he would be one of the rare therapists who work with the parents to heal the child.
It was a nice thought anyway. This man, who is a staff therapist, has written musicals,a hymnal,books,is currently writing books,causally speaks about reading the New Testament in the original Greek,uses Latin in conversation (and seems a bit disappointed that we understand what he is saying). If my son is actually communicating with us (rare and welcomed when it happens),the therapist tries to break into the conversation with vignettes about himself. Unfortunately, he is our only source of information about our son’s week. It would be nice if he didn’t contradict himself when he tells us what has happened during the past seven days.
My son’s worker called this week. It seems she has lost the copy of his birth certificate and social security card we gave her. Can we drop off another copy? When I mentioned that I was very uncomfortable with my son’s personal identifying information being lost,she blew me off. “Oh,it’s around here somewhere. It’s either been shredded or in a drawer somewhere. I just can’t put my hand on it.”
Silly me, to be concerned.
We dropped off another copy. What else can we do?
My husband contacted the buisness office of the RTC to set up a payment plan.As of the week before last we had a billing statement of several thousand dollars. He was told that our son’s Medicaid has payed what our private insurance did not. Financially, this is a huge blessing (if it is indeed true-we have learned not to get too excited until we have things in writing. Even then…). When my husband mentioned that we had been told by several people that our son’s original Medicaid did not pay for his treatment-the whole reason we scrambled for funding-he was told: “Medicaid is Medicaid.”
If this is true,then why did we spend all that time franticly trying to find funding? If this is true, why did we have to give up managing conservatorship of our son? If this is true, we were lied to. Again.
What do we pray for here? That Medicaid will in fact cover our son’s care, we are not in debt up to our eyeballs and we did not unnecessarily turned over control or our son to the state? Or, do we pray that we do owe the money and we were not fed a bill of goods for reasons we cannot fathom?
How is a normal family supposed to navigate this?

About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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1 Response to just when i think it’s safe…..

  1. Jeanne Holt says:

    Again, no words. Praying for you all that God will give you peace and you will see him working in the midst of the chaos.

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