why are we not told these things?

Therapy day today. Ya-hay.
My husband and I decided on the way in were were going to try and set the tone this week. I suppose in the end we did-just not quite the way we first intended. When we asked about our son’s week we were given a roundabout answer telling us not a whole heck of a lot. It seems they will be moving youngest to a new cottage this weekend. It took a couple of tries before the therapist gave us a straight answer. Our son will be a CPS kid after next Monday (court,nine AM. I am not looking forward to it) and he will need to be in the CPS cottage. It is a funding issue. It is also segregation, but what do I know?
We were told our son had some ups and downs during the week. Moderate stuff. Almost in passing we were told that his attack on the boy last week included him grabbing the other boy by the throat to strangle him. I mentioned that that would be considered attempted murder if he were grown. This led to a short discussion in which we asked the therapist to talk to us about home visitation alone;not in front of our son. The man told us that he would never consider doing such a thing. We reminded him that he has done it twice-last week,in fact.
It also seem our son’s new (but not official) case worker CPS spent an hour with him a day or so ago. When youngest came into the room I asked him about the visit with his worker.I also asked him about his behavior in general. He became agitated and somewhat evasive. It turns out he has been “cutting”-or in his case severe scratching. His arm was covered in parallel scabs.
This is very much a new behavior. When asked why,he responded with,”You don’t want me attacking (or hurting,I forget)other people so I am doing this” He also mentioned an incident where it sounds like he was being removed from a bathroom where he had “accidentally” locked himself in after being told to leave the door cracked open. He told us he hit his head against the wall and was coughing up blood. He was asking his therapist if he remembered him telling him that it reminded him of being beaten by his bio-dad.
I am uncertain if the blood was from the current event,or a memory. I am certain the therapist knew about the incident and was not pleased we now knew as well.
Youngest was agitated and flipping between the various hims at a rapid pace. We heard from a couple we haven’t seen since he was admitted. These were the more prone to violence hims. He is not doing well.
As we were leaving, I asked if my son was on precautions (suicide),and was told “No.” I suggested that he should be.
He has so much anger inside himself. If he turns that back onto himself, he very well may try and hurt himself-badly. When I think of him scratching himself with his own fingernails until he bleeds enough to leave multiple, parallel scabby sores, it does not bode well.
This all upsets me to no end.
I am upset that no one told us that our son tried to kill another boy. (and then wanted us to bring him home overnight)
I am upset that he has been self-mutilating (totally brand spanking new behavior) and no one thought we should be informed.
I am upset that he needed staff intervention to the point his head cracked on the wall and we were not told.
I am upset they are going to move him and change up his therapeutic team and we had to pull teeth to find out why.
I am upset that our liaison-his case manager for the RTC is not returning my calls.
What else is going on that we don’t know about? If this is going on before CPS involvement,how much more is going to be swept under the rug after next Monday?
I want to bring my baby home, but I cannot. If he were home,, he would be back in detention by now. If it would have been his brother he chose to throttle,we could be up on charges ourselves for child endangerment.
It is so hopelessly frustrating.
I am feeling one hundred percent impotent.
There is not a little blue pill to cure this particular dysfunction.
We are on our own.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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One Response to why are we not told these things?

  1. Jeanne Holt says:

    No words. Just prayers.

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