school and other random thoughts

Last week was the first week in which our school schedule was interrupted by life. The kids still had their schedule for the most part. I was the one who had other things going on which meant I wasn’t a visual presence in their day. It meant I would check work at the end of the day-not immediately. It meant there was no one to tell the fourteen year old to keep moving along. It meant that an assignment that should have been given me on Thursday was put off until this morning(my idea to give them time to finish what I knew they hadn’t even started). Which meant that it wasn’t complete despite assurances yesterday that they had completed it.
My children are not children anymore chronologically. They are almost nineteen down to fourteen-chronologically. In theory, They should be able to do their work irregardless of my physical presence in the room.
In reality they cannot. They just cannot seem to work independently at all. They most certainly cannot prioritize their time. Oh,they will tell me what I want to hear (lie). They just cannot seem to do what I want them to do(obey) without me standing directly over their right shoulder.
Any deviation from routine throws them for a loop.
I am also not certain my daughter is comprehending much this year. I have she and her brother doing grade level work-just slower and in not as much detail as I would like.She needs to work very hard to comprehend. If she does work hard,,she does comprehend the jist of things;if not the underlying meanings. Hard work might not be enough this year,though.I am certain my fourteen year old is not going to be able to handle just below grade level work much longer;no matter how slowly we trudge through it. I am going to give things until Thanksgiving and then reassess. I need to sort out the whole “won’t” vs. “can’t” issue with both of them. It is rarely cut and dry.

How are they ever going to be able to support themselves if they cannot function without oversight?
How am I to work if they cannot function without oversight?
They are good kids.Out home is peaceful with minimal drama.seventy-five percent of the time they try hard to do what is right. The only problem is they have no internal compass to tell them what is right. In that way they are much like my five year old granddaughter. They need to be told. She (my granddaughter) is beginning to form her own compass. Her Aunt and Uncles never will. I can see very clearly of who they should be-if their brains hadn’t been pickled in utero. I still do not have a clue how to transition them to adulthood-and two of them are for all intents and purposes,adults. They do have a great many strengths.
I wish their lack of cause and effect didn’t mitigate them.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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