no good solutions

I hate making decisions that have no good solutions. I hate it even more when these decisions effect many others with conflicting needs. Who’s needs take precedence? At what point is what may be best for one child overshadowed by what is best for everyone else? No matter which way we turn, someone will be ill served.
I talked for quite a long time with a mom who has Joint Temporary Conservatorship with the state. She is a year into the proccess. Her experience is not exactly what was explained to us. Her family does not have any real control. ARDS have occurred without notification. CPS decides and signs for medications and glasses. They get to show up to court hearings and family therapy.Their other children were interviewed. They were investigated. It was ruled unfounded,but they were investigated.
We were told there “should” be no investigation. We were told we would still have a say in our son’s care. We were not told that we had an eighteen month window for residential care and then he would either come back to our home (at almost 16) or into back into foster care to age out of the system.
The only thing “joint” about Joint Conservatorship is our son keeps our name. Oh,and we get to buy his clothes.
My son has never been helped by an RTC. He has been babysat. He has learned new tricks. He has cemented old ones. He is comfortable in residential settings. He is good at hoodwinking the staff. When that stops working,he resorts to threats of violence and ends up in a new setting. This has been his life for the past few years. It has been working for him.
We have choices. There are always choices. We can choose to believe the therapist that our son will be safe to come home in a few more weeks. We can bring him home and home school him with the rest. If and when he blows,we can call the police. We can allow him the legal consequences (if there are any) of his actions. We can give him one final chance to heal.
Or we can do JTC with CPS. We can keep him in residential Care and allow him to either come home in a year to a year and a half (with a man’s weight and height) and try one more time, or we can have him placed in foster care at that time.
One thing that makes me angry is that our state’s Medicaid will pay for residential treatment-if the child is in state custody. Why on earth can we not access this Medicaid without full CPS involvement?????
Why must my other kids relive their years of CPS’ involvement with their birth family to get their brother help?
PTSD anyone??????
You see? There are no good solutions.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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1 Response to no good solutions

  1. Jeanne Holt says:

    Any possibility that you could contact an elected state representative about getting a waiver on the Medicaid thing? I have no idea if that could be done, but I’ve heard that those guys can pull strings.

    Praying. It does seem an impossible situation.

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