a post about good things (mostly)

We have air conditioning!!!!! It was only the motor. It was very nice to sleep in a cool house last night. I am forever grateful I live in the age of air conditioning. I can’t imagine living one hundred years ago and dealing with the heat. I would not make a good pioneer wife;at least not in this climate.
My eighteen year old daughter was asked to consider becoming Cadet Commander of her CAP flight. Her seventeen year old brother will be made Staff Sergent. If your child is neuro-typical you might think to your self “how nice,but that isn’t such a big deal” These two are not neuro-typical. Their birth mom consumed drugs and alcohol while pregnant with them. They are FAE (or ARND as it is now called)They have struggled to learn basic things like reading and basic math. This is the son we watched lose his cognitive function when he hit puberty.He is my son diagnosed with schitzoid disorder. This is the daughter who has receptive and expressive language disorders. They have worked hard for this. Sometimes they have retested four or five times before they qualified to rank up. They test in things like aerospace and need to know the physics of flight. I am so proud of them I could bust!
At ten years of age my daughter was reading at the first grade level. At twelve she readBoxcar books.
At fourteen this son lived in his head and wouldn’t even socialize with his own family on his birthday. At one point he couldn’t figure out how to put his food on his fork.
Now they have positions of responsibility and authority.
My husband also received a compliment about these two from a co-worker. A new manager is training at his store and was impressed by those two’s work ethic and attitude. He told my husband that there isn’t anything they can’t accomplish.
This kind of makes all those years of teach and repeat ad nauseam worth the effort.
My fourteen year old son with FAS will be directing traffic again this weekend for CAP. He will once again be sibling free. If you knew this son,you would understand just how big a deal this is.
There is an interesting dynamic with this group of kids and their youngest brother. The uglier he acts,the kinder they are. If he is in refusal mode (all day yesterday) they come and talk to me(in front of their brother) about the success they are finding through hard work and talk about kids who give up and what losers they are. (the whole talking to me is also a very big deal. They often don’t). When their brother is acting in a fairly appropriate manner they treat him normally. When he is bizarre or ramping up,they ignore him. They do not seem to hold his bad times over his head during his good times. They don’t hold grudges. (the good side of every day being a new day). They want him to succeed.
I know that their brain damage still exists,having lived with this roller coaster for eight years now.I am encouraged this week by how well they are working around their difficulties. They just keep plugging along. They do not quit when things get hard (years of external motivation on that one). They are kind by nature. They have empathy. They know how to work hard. They are attached and know they are loved unconditionally. They have learned to love unconditionally.
That has to count for something.
I am very proud of them.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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2 Responses to a post about good things (mostly)

  1. Jeanne Holt says:

    Wow. You have made such a difference in their lives!!! Obviously you are not stopped by hard work or rejection or slow progress or regression or discouragement or any number of things that would have many parents throwing in the towel. I am so glad you are able to enjoy the fruits of your labors with these young people, but I know you want so much for your youngest to experience the healing power of love too.

    Praying for him, and your family, daily.

  2. lenell says:

    I appretiate your prayers more than words can tell.
    Thank you.

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