road trip and the downhill slide

At just before nine yesterday morning I was called to pick up my daughter from her encampment. The fall from grace told to me was serious.As were the consequence I was told were going to occur. So,after youngest met with his PO we loaded up the van and started our trek to the other side of our state. We made good time,except my husband had gotten directions for the place where encampment occurred three years ago-not the town it was currently being held in. That town was an hour and a half in a different direction. Eventually,After touring several regions of our state, we found our daughter. The events that brought us there were not as serious as we were first told. They were not good,but they were not life changing either. Seven and a half hours of devastated worry for nothing. All in all we were in the van for over twelve hours and drove over seven hundred miles. It wasn’t exactly how we had planned to spend our day.
Youngest did pretty well. He was overjoyed his sister was in some sort of trouble. He was confused when she was forgiven.
Today has not been good.
This was one of the days when the other kids kept phone at hand and kept checking to see if I was OK. It was pretty funny (in a non-funny way) when he tried to light the back deck on fire using near 100 degree heat and a magnifying glass. When I took the magnifying glass away he tried to use his glasses. He also tried to take off the hand rail of the deck,but was unable to pry it off. I am an “alcoholic”,” crack whore” who needs to “stop bonking” his dad by the way. He even added sound effects for the benefit of the neighbors. I am sure that will help the sale of their house (listed the week youngest came home,but I am sure the timing was just coincidence). While my husband and I are happily married, we are not that indiscreet. If we were,the cops would have been called a long time ago. He threatened one of the animals for the first time this go-round. He also insisted I give him his foster records to read which I refused to do. I did tell him all of the addresses of previous placements and his birth family were blacked out on the off chance that was what he was looking for. He is currently playing with his toys,but still very edgy.
To give you a taste of how surreal my world has become, I will share the following.
“Mom if you hear barking in the back yard it is just me. I’m transforming into a werewolf” Spoken in a sing-song little boy voice.
“The neighbors are trying to sell their house,so why don’t you be a werewolf without vocal chords. Be a silent werewolf” I responded as if I was talking to one of my three year old grandsons.
“OK mom” He cheerfully replied as he literally scampered off to play.
That was followed by his gansta version not too many hours later. On bad days I can’t keep up with who is in his body. I do prefer the younger versions. They want to be here. The other versions are anywhere from unpleasant to scary. They do not want to live here and are definitely letting me know.
I would like to go back to boring. Boring is good. Boring is quiet. Boring is not muttering the ways it wants to hurt me under it’s breath one minute and snuggling up to be read to the next.
And just in case any of you were wondering,my school is out of the question right now. This son of mine is ten full time jobs and too unpredictable for me to even to school on line at the moment.
Sigh.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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2 Responses to road trip and the downhill slide

  1. Jeanne Holt says:

    Praying daily for peace and healing.

  2. lenell says:

    Thank you for the prayers. They are what is keeping us going.

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