busy weekend,a visit and the birthday that wasn’t

I was busy all weekend and didn’t accomplish much of anything. I spent a long time with my middle daughter helping her with her baby and three year old. The baby has the worst reaction to thrush I have seen. She is on her second medication for the poor little guy and has also done all the homeopathic remedies. His poor little mouth is bleeding. I also spent time with my oldest daughter and her son.
It was Sunday before I had my weekly visit with youngest.
He began the visit with attitude. He was almost comical with his avoidance of eye contact. I did my normal contortions trying to keep myself in his line of vision. Sometimes that will get him to relax and smile. I asked him if the attitude was because he was nervous. He wasn’t. I asked him what he was the most worried about coming home. He wasn’t worried at all. I informed him that it was normal to be worried and nervous. I told him it was alright to be scared etc. At one point int he conversation (or parallel conversations),I asked him what odds he gave himself for maintaining at home. He did his normal talk around and nonsense answers.I repeated my question in a couple of different ways and he finally gave me a straight answer.
“About fifty-fifty,” he said.
I told him those were the odds his siblings had given him as well.
“Wooo,that’s freaky” he said. I asked him what odds we (his dad and I) wanted if it was up to us and not up to him. “One hundred percent” he answered without hesitation. I told him he was right.
He relaxed after that and made occasional eye contact.
That evening my husband asked me which son I visited. I told son three started the visit.
After I told him the kids odds for his success matched his own, he slid into son two.
My son is perfectly divided as to the direction he wants to want. He is on the knife’s edge and it won’t take much of a breeze to tip him one way or the other.
Yesterday my third son turned fourteen. We did absolutely nothing to mark the day except to wish him a Happy Birthday. He seems to be having a really hard time with his birthday this year so we made it a non-event. On Thursday we will picnic at a park and spring fed pool he loves with most of the grown kids to celebrate for real. On Friday we will grill steaks at home and have his cake and presents with just the five of us. Next week, unbeknown to him, he dad is taking he and his siblings to a huge water park for a day of tube shoots and crowds.( My oldest daughter scored us four tickets. They are well out of our budget otherwise) That will be his main gift. He hasn’t asked for a blessed thing this year. He couldn’t tell me what he wanted for his meal,his cake,or a gift. He froze up at the grocery store when I had him choose his ice cream. This is why we are certain this years birthday is incredibly hard for him. Our hope is by spreading it out over a week he will be able to relax and enjoy himself.
We want him to be able to enjoy his birthday.
He is a great kid.

About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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