schoolastic acheivement test

My two high schoolers are going to be taking the SAT this June. I know,I know…why?
Why? Well this is the best they will ever test. One of them (the one who thought mesh was a color) wants to go to college(or be an artist,or join the Air Force,or be a server or…). The other one wants to read fantasy novels, play video games and eat my food for the rest of his life.(the one who is actually very bright when he hits on all six cylinders.) I am much more nervous about their test than they are. I was not nervous at all when my older kids took their college entrance exams. But then again,they knew their colors.
The only way my kids are going to have an idea of where they are really at is to take the blasted test. So,take it they will.
My original goal this year was to work on their writing skills. We all know how that turned out. Today,after a month of “suggesting” I forced them to pick a writing prompt, set the timer for twenty five minutes and write their essay. I explained the format (for the ten gazillionth time). They argued with me about it (for the ten gazillionth time). They wrote. I read their work. I did not cry. I pointed out to my good writer that he needed an introductory paragraph;I had no idea what he was writing about. I pointed out to my poor writer that she needed an introductory paragraph,not a topic sentence. I pointed out grammatical errors.I told them they needed to be at least double the length. I found our reference books that gave examples of good five paragraph essays. I reminded them that they were the ones who refused to write all year.
I did not cry.
My son is still mad at me because he failed two tests yesterday. He is the one barely speaking to me today.My daughter is no longer mad (for failing her test),but still is ignoring most of what I tell her to do until I insist on a “yes ma’am” Still, I have to make her do it in front of me or it isn’t getting done.
How are they ever going to be independent? If they can’t be independent,how will we cope with adult pre-adolescents in our home indefinitely?
I think sometimes that if I go though the motions,then my kids can have a chance at independence. So I find the best curriculum that fits their learning styles. I insist on their best. I cheer lead. I encourage. I keep at them. I rearrange their day and change their curriculum. I regroup. I have yet to give up. They just scowl. They refuse. They sit and stare. But, occasionally surprise me by how well they do,what they have retained,how far they have come. It is enough for me to keep on them. It is enough to keep me wanting to keep on them.
It would be easier if I could just “unschool ” them and call it good. Or conversely,let the school district pass them along each year and blame them when my kids don’t function in society.
Unfortunately,in order to successfully unschool,the children need to be self motivated. Mine are not. Likewise,I cannot blame the school system if I know going in my children cannot handle the environment.
It falls on me then.
I would feel better about it if my kids didn’t show me just how much they don’t need me by failing purposefully-except for the times they fail because their brains synapses refuse to fire. I can’t always tell the difference.
I would feel better if they didn’t have quite so much magical thinking about their abilities. On one hand I want them to be somewhat realistic about future goals. On the other hand,I do not want them to be crushed by the scores if they are what I am afraid they will be.
Hidden disabilities suck.
I hate FASD.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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