six weeks and counting

It is only six weeks until youngest comes home. Six weeks to finish household projects. Six weeks to get locks for all the doors. Six weeks to visit with grandchildren. Six weeks for my husband and I to be able to leave the house together.Six weeks to do family things. Six weeks to shower,use the bathroom,leave a room without finding a replacement.
Six weeks is not a very long time.
Is it any wonder I am having problems with the kids here at home?
Is it any wonder neither my husband nor myself are sleeping well at night?
Is it any wonder I am beginning to have stomach problems again?
We are desperately trying to anticipate all contingencies to keep our home safe and hopefully calm. It can’t be done. That doesn’t stop us from trying.
We could start visits home,though to be honest I don’t think it would help anyone. I know that sounds backwards. My son knows how we live. He will not show his true self during an eight hour visit. I think I would rather just have him come home and keep life quiet as long as possible.
The week he comes home my older two teens will be away for ten days. Their dad will be working twelve hours per day. It will be myself and my seventy-four pound newly fourteen year old.
How am I going to manage going to the bathroom?
I was talking to the clerk as I was paying youngest son’s debt to society this morning. I was paying off the rest of his child support to the county. We were talking about youngest finally coming home and I told her the hardest part was going to be not being able to have my grand babies overnight any more. The poor woman (a grandmother herself) began to tear up at the thought. And here I thought I had been over reacting. I guess I am more normal than I thought.
It was psychiatrist day. I like this psychiatrist. I wish we could still use him when youngest “graduates” He is the first head shrinker I have considered competent. He was talking to youngest,youngest was playing his games and the psychiatrist actually noticed. He asked youngest about gangs and why he no longer wanted to be in one. Eight weeks ago youngest was aspiring to be a warlord. Now he wants to be an upright citizen. Why the change of heart?
My upstanding son’s reason was that the cops “are commin down hard on us even when we aren’t, ya know doing anythin” The cops were doing their job and that was wrong. “The cops hate gangs and hassles us an’ stuff” The head shrinker explained that the police understood gangs and could not afford to be soft with them and be considered weak. He did it very well. He talked about how the police had a dangerous job and they couldn’t tell if a gang member was going to go off or not since no provocation is needed-so they just come down hard to protect themselves. Youngest didn’t understand.
Did you notice my son’s use of the pronoun “us”?
I did.
I noticed that my son is still playing games with adults. I noticed the comments about the amount of flatulence my son can produce at will. I noticed the super sincere look when he spoke about coming with children like my son know that look. I hate that look.
I want desperately to believe my son has made some real progress.
What I saw today was a boy who thinks he has the adults buffaloed.
Six weeks is going to be over in a flash.

A completely different observation…. my eighteen year old daughter is talking to me again. She seems almost relieved to have no Internet at night anymore. She is rested this morning and pleasant company. She even did two math assignments to catch herself up. It is amazing how much you can accomplish when you sleep at night instead of sneaking around.
I believe we called that one right

About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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