sorry for the absence,life has been complicated

It has been a little busy around here lately. I had to leave state in a hurry two weeks ago. My dad had emergency surgery for a GI bleed and we nearly lost him. He is doing better,but he still has a very long row to hoe before he is back home. I am thankful I could fly up and be with him and my brother. My oldest went with and spent the first weekend with us. I was grateful for her help. She left her son with her husband for the first time. It was even more a sacrifice for her as my dad lives in the city where she suffered the worst of her abuse. Just being there was difficult for her,but she came anyway without being asked. (it was hard on me as well,for that matter)
Of course mom being gone was not easy on the kids left at home. The teens did pretty well and I haven’t had much fallout with them. My thirteen year old is a completely different story. I am having quite a bit of anger (of the passive aggressive variety) and a fair amount of regression out of him. Abandonment is still a very large issue with him. He is currently sitting at the table refusing to do his school. He lied to his dad on a daily basis the entire time I was gone about his school. He is now grounded (for the lies,not the lack of work)for a month from just about everything. Lying has been a huge issue these last few months. We just can’t give grace for untruths. He has also been given hugs and a lot of reassurance.
While I was out of state, Youngest was removed from the RTC and placed back in detention. He was deteriorating so fast his probation officer brought him back. He stayed on restriction and was escalating while he was there. The current plan is to place him in our county’s new program which starts int he next week or so. It will only contain six children/teens. It will be very intensive. I am relieved he is back in county. We were having a very difficult time keeping tabs on him where he was.At least this way he is fifteen minutes form the house and we have a relationship established with nearly everyone involved. If he blows this placement, he will more than likely be kiddie prison bound. When asked if that is what he wants,he just shrugs his shoulders and half smiles.
I would love to shake him until his teeth rattle sometimes. He has no clue as to how serious this is.
The last time he was in detention he tried to refuse to talk to me. This time he has been trying to refuse to talk to his dad. His current excuse is he can only be good for a little while then he can’t help himself.
Our litany remains unchanged. “You are making choices. There are consequences for your choices-good and bad… etc,etc”
I would appreciate prayers for my dad.
Back to the salt mines for me.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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