mom has had enough

I have had it with pouty,rude,selfish teenagers who think it is OK to ignore simple requests and out right lie. I have had it with the us against them attitude. I am not going to put up with being glared at for existing. I have had enough adolescent angst and drama to last ten lifetimes. Watching an emotionally twelve year old try and have adolescent angst and drama while telling me she is an adult is no longer even remotely amusing.
I am not feeling therapeutic. I am not feeling sympathy. I have had enough.
I blew this morning. I did the one thing the kids hate more than anything.
I lectured.
I told them they were being disrespectful. I told them I was tired of being lied to. I told them I was sorry for letting things get to this point. I had felt guilty about the chaos of youngest and had done them no favors by letting things slide.
That was the preamble.
The body of the speech included long time favorites such as ” This us against you stuff needs to end. We are a family-a rather extended family-and you are loved and cared for-so deal with it”.
“If you think I home school you for my health I can guarantee I have better things I could do with my time than babysit you as you don’t do your school.”
“It’s an ugly world out there,we are trying to give you the skills you need to do well”
“Stop blaming me because you got busted,I’m not the one who broke the rules-you did”
“If you want to be treated as an adult,I suggest you act older than a spoiled eight year old”
“If you have problems then tell someone-but don’t burden your little brother.That isn’t fair to him”
“You are loved-deal with it
You have a mom-deal with it
You will be called on it when you screw up-deal with it
you have a family that will be around forever;no matter what you do-so deal with it.
Get over yourselves and knock off the attitude.”
You get the idea.
I figure that even if they tune out 99% of what I say, the words still slide into their subconscious;kind of like Chinese water torture with words.
I doubt the experts would applaud my excess of verbiage. I really don’t care.
There are days when therapeutic parenting is simply too much effort. There are days when the old fashioned mom of bratty kids takes over.
Today was one of those days.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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One Response to mom has had enough

  1. Lulu McCabe says:

    Thank you for writing this! We are in the process of foster/adopting our first teenager and I had a day like yours yesterday! Sometimes I feel like the social workers blame us if we’re not 24/7 therapeutic experts in addition to earning a living and running a household. It’s just not possible – there are days when I’m mad, times when I lecture, and opportunities to parent that I let slip because I’m just human and I’m worn out and I don’t want to deal with defiance and rage and constant testing when I get home. It’s so nice to know there are other people out there brave enough to try parenting hurt teenagers and writing honestly about it.

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