rain and another day schooling the fas brain

brains
Yesterday the weather was sunny and almost hot (80 or so for you Yankees-you know who you are dad).
Today it is in the low fifties (feels like forties according to Weather.com) and raining. I am freezing. (quit laughing at me dad!) The kids are not having an academically on day.All three are varying degrees of sideways. My thirteen year old is confusing his mathematical operations. He is setting up an addition problem and then multiplying it. He is trying to find out how much time has past from 9AM to 11AM and is coming up with 2AM. The other two aren’t doing much better. At least my daughter doesn’t have attitude to go along with a hard-to-think day. Her brothers however, are blaming me for kicking back their work and trying to explain the correct way to do it. Of course,they are both still mad they are not going to the Halloween party next Saturday. Neither of them finished their work from last week-even though they had three days to do it. My youngest refused to break his work down into manageable bites. Instead he insisted on spending most of his time running in circles. His brother handed me a paper he,himself admitted he would kick back if he were I.
Sigh.
We have days, weeks, occasionally months where they seem to tool along without problems.Sometimes we have days,weeks,months where their brains freeze up, but they push through allowing me to help them. They allow me to be their external brain so to speak. Then there are days like today. Not only are their brains shorting out, but their attitudes are in the toilet. It isn’t they who have the problem. I am the problem for pointing out they have a problem. It isn’t that the math answer makes no sense whatsoever. It is me for pointing out they have a wrong answer that gets their knickers in a twist. Please don’t think they are embarrassed. I don’t do anything that would bring shame. They are simply stuck. Reality doesn’t play into it.
My prayer for this group of teens is they will one day have their own system for external accountability. I want them to recognize they are having a “hard to think” day and have a contingency plan is place-like not being afraid to say “I don’t understand” or simply looking up how to do something they knew how to do the day before. I think my daughter is about seventy-five percent there. She is no longer arrogant in her ignorance. My sons,however, are about fifty percent there. I know it must be frustrating to them to lose stuff in their own brains. Their dad and I have been working for years to help them find face saving ways to compensate.
We cannot undo the damage to their brains. We can help them learn to navigate around the damage to minimize it’s effect on their lives.
I think it is because they have come so far,that days like these are harder for me to see. I want the damage to be gone. Erased. Never to have existed to begin with. Off days,FAS days, sideways days like today remind me the damage remains.
I prefer denial.

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About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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2 Responses to rain and another day schooling the fas brain

  1. Mary says:

    Thank you for being so transparent. As an adoptive mom with a couple of alcohol damage kids, it is so encouraging to know that I am not crazy and the damage is real. Some days homeschooling is so challenging that I feel like I am hitting my head against a brick wall.

    Thanks for sharing,
    MLMB

  2. lenell says:

    When the kids were younger,my husband once drew a target and taped it on the wall. It was for me to hit my head against. I so understand what you are saying.
    Lindy

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