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Today was psychiatrist day. I did not fall apart this time. My son’s antidepressant was doubled and he was started on ADHD meds. Do I believe he is ADHD? Not on your life. I am giving up, though. If they think he is ADHD I am not going to convince them otherwise. To be honest, I would love to be wrong and have this help. He has been on them in the past and his behavior has never changed-never.
Part of the reason for my giving up on this has to do with the discussion (without my son present for once!) about behaviors. It seems he had 42 sanctions in one day. It seems he talks quite openly to the therapist about his revenge list of which we and all of his foster families have the good fortune to be on. The therapist was telling the psychiatrist about how my son told her about how he chose us as his adoptive family and then proceeded to end the conversation saying he wanted to kill us. He was matter of fact about it. He knows we had nothing to do with his removal from his birth family. He knows we have done nothing to him directly,or indirectly. He just blames us (and his foster parents) all the same.
The psychiatrist told me to always have my guard up. No kidding.
When my son entered the room I learned he had been wetting his bed-one of the few things that were not peed on here at the house. I let them know he hadn’t peed his bed in either my home,or his foster homes. Peed on things,the floor,people? Yes. His own bed? No. He has a room mate. I suggested the remove the room mate and was told they were too full. There is one other boy who pees his bed. They are going to see about moving them together. My son did not look happy about this.
My son told me he did perform a chore when he was home on Saturday. I was confused. I remember telling him I was supposed to be having him do chores,but opted not to. The only thing he did was to clear his place at the table. That was not the chore, he said. Being with his brothers in the pool was the chore,he sincerely told us. It is nice to know his brother’s efforts to be make him comfortable were not in vain.
He is not slated to come home until the end of October at the earliest. I will be given a definitive release date in advance. The psychiatrist said that if he still wants to kill people he should not be released home. I have no idea if his word carries any weight.
Because of this information, I have decided not to fight any and all medication for my son. once again,I really do not think it will work. His problems are emotional and spiritual. I just don’t think they can do any more harm than has already been done. And you never know,I could be wrong (about them working,not about doing harm).
Pray I’m wrong.


About lenell

Wife to a very patient man and mom to 8 interesting kids via birth,marriage and adoption. Grandma to nearly 5,nearly perfect grandchildren.
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