We are working hard here. Yesterday we were officially placed in pre-adoptive status. Our newest son stated he did want to use what will be his new last name_ starting now.We were actually able to touch on middle names yesterday with him. The change in his affect after he signed his name to the paper work was remarkable. We were expecting fallout and he expressed relief. We had more real smiles last night then he has shown this week. We played Sequence (not Aggravation or Uno) for our board game and he was cutting up with the other kids. Last night two hours after the boys had gone to bed, we heard a series of thumps and bangs coming from their room. Don went to investigate and found both younger boys playing transformers using stuffed animals to fill in the gaps. They were all smiles. I am so happy they are both the same developmental and emotional age. It will help both not feel so alone. It is hard to make friends when you are 12 and nearly 12 and still play with stuffed animals. It is good to have a safe place to be who you are.
We see the psychiatrist tommorrow. I want to get youngest son off his meds. The particular Dr. we are seeing is through our agency and tends to think all children need to be on meds. We are not quite free enough to take him off with out an order. I am praying he will listen to our reasoning. There is an attitude among those who work with state kids that all the children need psychotropics. There is the drug of the month that is prescribed to all children irregardless to how they present. That means that children who only need something to get them over a hump are medicated indefinitely and children who could use meds are not given the meds they need. We have a system full of children with genetic predispositions to addiction given mind altering, addictive drugs whenever they have anxiety. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. At no time are these kids followed up on medically to make sure their internal systems are not being harmed. Look at the side effects of some of the most common drugs and it gets scary quickly. The drug my son is on can cause the kidney’s to shut down,can lead to diabetes and effects other systems. Some of the more common side effects mimic adhd. That is going to be to his benefit when he starts school.
Unfortunately,teaching children to handle their anxiety by developing coping skills takes years. It doesn’t matter that those skills will be with them throughout life, thereby increasing not only their quality of life ,but that of everyone around them. That takes more effort on the part of the adults in the child’s life. It is much easier to medicate. If Johnny develops a life long tremor or is on dialysis,well that happens sometimes. At least he didn’t scream obscenities and wet the bed.
The pharmaceutical companies are laughing all the way to the bank.